Abner's plan was born out of minutes of research into a complex field by the Doubledays mascot, Abner. Named after the theoretical inventor of baseball, Abner decided to branch out from the world of games into trying to solve the world's energy and pollution problems. His plan consists of three parts: To harness the power of the wind through a pinwheel giveaway, increase the output of natural gas through baked bean sales and invent a new energy source called "human-hydro power." The pinwheel experiment will begin with a giveaway to the first 150 fans of beautiful pinwheels. The pinwheels will collect the energy of the wind and turn that energy into the enjoyment of pretty spinning colors at no extra financial or environmental cost to the consumer. It is Abner's hope that watching pinwheels will replace the use of televisions by the year 2010. The next step is to increase the natural gas output of Doubledays fans through the use of the baked beans. The pilot program will begin with baked beans being offered as a side dish or on top of the famous Doubledays Dog. As of yet, Abner has not been able to find anyone willing to harness this new found energy source, but when he does, he's quite certain it will be an important step to energy independence. Finally, Abner has created a new energy source called human-hydro power. During the game, the Doubledays on-field crew will lead the fans in the wave and the wind created by the standing and sitting of the fans will make the pinwheels handed out earlier spin and the a renewable energy system will be created. It is Abner's hope that his spur of the moment, unscientific system will lead to complete energy independence by next June. Even if it doesn't, it should bring much needed attention to an important problem facing future baseball fans. |
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