Flirtation with the absurd saluted at Seminar

NEW ORLEANS, La. -- On Saturday morning, I went from an observer of the Minor League Baseball Promotional Seminar to an active participant.

In what constituted a first for me as a "professional," I was asked to be one of the seminar's guest speakers. Taking the stage at roughly 10:30 a.m., I delivered a presentation entitled "Cows, Cave Shrimp, Craving Stations and Chia-Heads: The Year That Was in Minor League Baseball Promotions."

The presentation had caused me a great deal of stress over the past several days, but I am happy to report that it went over pretty well. The first few minutes were a little rocky, as I had to overcome the inevitable technical difficulties (this was my first time ever using PowerPoint), as well as a case of nerves. But, soon enough, I found myself not just tolerating but even enjoying my time on the stage. And why not? It was a Saturday morning, in the waning moments of the seminar. Might as well have some fun.

The bulk of the presentation was devoted to my Top 10 Promotions of the Year, which were announced in an article that ran Friday on MiLB.com. It was gratifying to have the opportunity to explain why I thought the likes of Bowling Green's "What Could've Been Night" and Brooklyn's "Bellies and Baseball" had so much potential, and also gave me the chance to show video of the Wilmington Blue Rocks' "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" world-record attempt.

That segued into a more freewheeling segment with the narcissistic title of "10 Things I'd Like To See More Of." These things included "violent mascot races," "centenarian first pitches," "rock-and-roll theme jerseys," and, of course, "Taco In A Helmet" (currently served at Brevard County's Space Coast Stadium).

I closed by displaying a slide of Weird Al Yankovic's landmark 1985 album "Dare To Be Stupid." The motivation behind this was two-fold. First, I made a personal plea for teams to stage "Salute to Weird Al" theme nights. The man (who turns 50 next month, by the way) is a national treasure, and he deserves to be celebrated. Minor League Baseball teams have a propensity for puns, parody and wordplay, so obviously they are very much in line with the Weird Al aesthetic.

Secondly, "Dare to Be Stupid" sums up the promotional philosophy of many Minor League teams. To those who dared to be stupid in 2009, I salute you. Here's hoping that in 2010, we all will dare to be even stupider.

The Best of the Best

But enough about me. Saturday morning was highlighted by the presentation of the "best of" promotional awards. As written about Friday, there were four categories (In-Game, Non-Game Day, Green and Theme Night) consisting of five nominees each. The winners were determined by a vote of seminar attendees, who chose the following:

Best Green Promotion: "Gang Green," State College Spikes
The Spikes had a crew of Jolly Green Giant-esque mascots roam the stands collecting trash and dispensing eco-friendly tips.

Best In-Game Promotion: "The Funky Feather," Great Lakes Loons
Fans flocked to Great Lakes' Dow Diamond in order to do the "Funky Feather" -- a high-energy fist-pumping dance -- each time the Loons scored a run.

Best Theme Night: "Subtle Butt," Lake Elsinore Storm
Certainly the most notorious promotion of the season, the Storm distributed "Subtle Butt" flatulence neutralizers to fans at each and every "Fat Tuesday" all-you-can-eat game.

Best Non-Game Promotion: "Hank Aaron Childhood Home and Museum," Mobile BayBears
The BayBears uprooted Hank Aaron's childhood home and re-located it to the ballpark. There, it will serve as a museum and learning center dedicated to the pioneering Hall of Fame slugger.

Perhaps not surprisingly, given its originality and scope, Mobile's Hank Aaron initiative was voted "Best Overall" promotion as well. Congratulations to the BayBears, as well as all of the nominated teams.

And now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to take advantage of my remaining time in New Orleans by getting some Abita and oysters.