First of all thanks for the early present. That whole World Series thing was very thoughtful and we’re still enjoying it. The Reading Phillies have been very good for 43 seasons and hope you consider stopping by FirstEnergy Stadium over the holidays to bring us:

• 71 nice sunny days preferably delivered on:
  4/9, 4/10, 4/11, 4/13, 4/14, 4/15, 4/23, 4/24, 4/25, 4/26, 4/28, 4/29, 4/30, 5/8, 5/9, 5/10, 5/14, 5/15, 5/16, 5/17, 5/19, 5/20, 5/21, 5/29, 5/30, 5/31, 6/1, 6/2, 6/3, 6/4, 6/9, 6/10, 6/11, 6/12, 6/13, 6/14, 6/15, 6/19, 6/20, 6/21, 6/23, 6/24, 6/25, 6/30, 7/1, 7/2, 7/3, 7/4, 7/5, 7/6, 7/16, 7/17, 7/18, 7/19, 7/27, 7/28, 7/29, 7/30, 8/4, 8/5, 8/6, 8/14, 8/15, 8/16, 8/16, 8/25, 8/26, 8/27, 8/28, 8/29, 8/30 and 8/31.
• Chemicals for the Reading Eagle Pool Pavilion (those are always nice to have).
• A female ostrich for breeding purposes (Rodrigo can’t carry the Crazy Hot Dog Vendor forever).
• A nice new home for our old friend Pat Burrell.
• Another Phillies affiliate in our territory (what the heck, the more the merrier).
• A 6th mascot to keep the other five from getting bored.
• No more than 88 losses this year.
• No injuries to any of the Phillies Minor Leaguers.
• Coal. Seriously. Maybe there’s a borderline naughty kid you could cut some slack and send his or her share our way. You see our new manager, Steve Roadcap, was born and raised in Pennsylvania’s Coal Region, about an hour from Baseballtown. While some view it as a bad thing, we think he’d appreciate it. Oh, and none of that bituminous stuff either. We want the anthracite.
• Another monster season like 2008 by Michael Taylor, but here, for our fans to enjoy.
• Protective eye-wear for Screwball (XXXL please).
• And of course a Red Rider BB gun (also for Screwball).

Thanks Santa,

The Reading Phillies