Attention Earthlings, Coneheads 25th Anniversary Night is Headed Your Way on Friday, August 3rd
Woodbridge, VA, EARTH-Attention Earthlings, Coneheads 25th Anniversary Night at Northwest Federal Field at Pfitzner Stadium is headed your way on Friday, August 3rd!Young Ones…parental units…we summon you to blend in to the 25th anniversary celebration of when everyone's favorite conical-headed aliens hit the silver screen!
Woodbridge, VA, EARTH-Attention Earthlings, Coneheads 25th Anniversary Night at Northwest Federal Field at Pfitzner Stadium is headed your way on Friday, August 3rd!
Young Ones…parental units…we summon you to blend in to the 25th anniversary celebration of when everyone's favorite conical-headed aliens hit the silver screen!
Whether you are just a few earth years old or if you've been around for seven Zurls or more, Coneheads 25th Anniversary Night beats the heck out of housework, which we all hate…
Here's 55 words of advice for you…
On your way to The Pfitz located at the end of the Noctolium Solar Chain, if you reach the Petulaus Cluster, you're not going to be in the right section of the galaxy…
Just maintain low tones, swing your ship around, don't get distracted by the Moons of Meetzar, and be sure not to crash into the parking lot at The Pfitz upon entry.
Head out to the Home of the Potomac Nationals for a 7:05pm first pitch on Coneheads 25th Anniversary Night as the P-Nats host the Myrtle Beach Pelicans (Chicago Cubs) in a series opener of a three-game weekend set.
The Pelicans of Myrtle Beach hail from the Grand Strand, which is lightyears from the planet, Remulak, where the Coneheads are really from.
On a night in which planetary conquest will be immortalized, The Coneheads Family including Beldar Conehead, his life-mate, Prymaat Conehead, and their daughter, Connie Conehead, will be on hand to celebrate.
You may not notice their cones at first, but they will surely be among us at The Pfitz.
An out of this world giveaway will grace the P-Nats' faithful as the first 1,000 fans through the gates (which open at 6:00pm) will receive a commemorative
Fans who arrive to The Pfitz on Friday, 8/3 and visit the Extreme Custom Collision Ticket Office sporting a cone-shaped head will be eligible for one (1) free grandstand ticket to Coneheads 25th Anniversary Night.
Free grandstand tickets to the event will also be available to any fan who has any of the following monikers in their full legal name:
-Lorne
-Michaels
-Donald
-Mary Margaret
-Connie
-DeCicco
-Beldar
-Prymaat
-Marlax
-Zythron The Insistent
-Conehead
Complimentary grandstand tickets are also headed to residents of both the French Republic and Paramus, New Jersey (Home of the 2011 New Jersey State Little League Champions).
Meanwhile, one (1) discounted $5 grandstand ticket to Coneheads 25th Anniversary Night will be awarded to all driving instructors, taxi drivers, and appliance repairmen (with proof of employment) as a nod to Beldar Conehead's job resume.
Dentists will also be able to receive a $5 grandstand ticket voucher to the event out of respect for the exhaustive work done on Beldar's dental caps.
Guys named Ronnie have to pay a $1 surcharge on an all ticket purchases unless they are able to sweet talk the P-Nats' ticket representatives…Good luck Ronnies, don't make us have Beldar rip the roof off your vehicle…
No former INS (Immigration and Naturalization Service) agents or flarndips are invited to the celebration of the cone-headed extraterrestrial family who debuted on Saturday Night Live back in 1977.
Meps!
Just kidding…or are we?
Highmaster Mintot will not be attending the event as he is in Remulak probably still upset that Beldar Conehead committed treason.
Legendary comedic actor, Dan Aykroyd, who played Beldar Conehead, standout comedic actress, Jane Curtin who portrayed Prymaat Conehead, and veteran actress, Michelle Burke, who played Connie Conehead, in the film, Coneheads (1993) are all invited by the Potomac Nationals to throw out a ceremonial first pitch on Coneheads 35th Anniversary Night.
P-Nats fans may want to skip their midday cessation of activity for protein-carbo intake to prepare for the in-game Organically Inactive Meat Matter Between Two Starch Planes (AKA Hamburger) Eating Contest.
During the game, there will also be a 90-Second Six Pack of Pepsi Chugging Challenge between two contestants.
Fans will try to Narfle the Garthok throughout the game to win one (1) free grandstand ticket voucher per fan to the Potomac Nationals' Friday, August 24th game against the Hillcats of Lynchburg (Cleveland Indians). One member of the Pelicans' batting order will be chosen as the Garthok before the game starts, and if that player strikes out three times, all fans in attendance will win a free grandstand ticket voucher to the P-Nats' Friday, 8/24 game, and thus Narfle the Garthok!
The Coneheads 25th Anniversary Night Fan of the Game will receive a slew of gifts that were going to be given to Highmaster Mintot (if only the Coneheads were planning on ever going back to Remulak instead of squatting on Earth) including free access to "The Big Phone" in the Potomac Nationals' Command Center for the entirety of the game, a chance to take a nap in the beds hung on the wall in the P-Nats Front Office, a courtesy Coneheads DVD, a complimentary Saturday Night Live-themed prize, and a posed Polaroid picture with P-Nats mascot, Uncle Slam taken by Beldar Conehead…mind the massive flashbulb!
As always, the concessions stands at The Pfitz will be packed with mass quantities of consumables, but remember, only Coneheads should be inhaling inedible items like pencil shavings, cleaning fluid, and insulation.
Instead, P-Nats fans can devour charred mammal flesh, flattened chicken embryos, grid-like breakfast slabs, and coleslaw…they will enjoy it.
Tang, the drink the astronauts took to the Moon…astronauts…to the Moon…hehehehehehe…will be sold in the ballpark.
If fans overindulge in consumption of mass quantities, hygienic chambers are available on the ballpark concourse to provide relief.
Honing cones in the stands will be permitted but senso-rings will not be allowed in the stadium because they aren't family unit-friendly.
Post-game, the Potomac Nationals will welcome select golfing enthusiasts who signed up at the Fan Assistance Booth to compete in Beldar Conehead's Closest to the Pin pitching competition on the field. Winners of the competition will take home a P-Nats Prize Pack.
Following Friday's game, hop in you rescue vessels and return to Northwest Federal Field on Saturday night, as the P-Nats will host a Beldar Conehead-style fireworks show extravaganza presented by WTOP…bring your shades perhaps…the sky is going to light up rather bright.
If a bunch of cones jumped in the bituminous cauldron, we wouldn't expect you to join them…
But, in this case, the P-Nats invite you to assimilate into the culture of the Coneheads festivities at The Pfitz on Friday, August 3rd!
For permission to enter Northwest Federal Field at Pfitzner Stadium for Coneheads 25th Anniversary Night, earth-beings must call 703-590-2311 or go to www.potomacnationals.com for tickets.
Memories on Coneheads 25th Anniversary Night…you will enjoy them.
For more information on 2018 Potomac Nationals single game tickets, please contact Director of Season Ticket and Group Ticket Sales, Alec Manriquez, by phone at 703-590-2311, ext. 221, or via e-mail at [email protected]. Fans with questions may also contact Potomac Nationals' Ticket Operations Manager, Matt LeBlanc, by phone at 703-590-2311, ext. 225, or via e-mail at [email protected].
P-Nats' 2018 ticket plans and group outings are currently available for purchase. For more information, or to purchase any of these plans, contact Potomac Nationals Director of Season Ticket and Group Ticket Sales, Alec Manriquez, by phone at 703-590-2311, ext. 221, or via e-mail at [email protected].
The Potomac Nationals of the Carolina League play at Northwest Federal Field at Pfitzner Stadium in Woodbridge, Virginia, and are the Carolina League affiliate of the Washington Nationals. The Potomac Nationals have claimed five Carolina League Championship titles (1982, 1989, 2008, 2010, and 2014) and nine CL Northern Division Championships. Sponsorship opportunities for the P-Nats' 2018 season and beyond are available, as well as all-inclusive corporate picnic outings to watch the future stars of the Washington Nationals at The Pfitz. 2018 Potomac Nationals season tickets and mini plans are now on sale. For more information on Potomac Nationals 2018 season tickets, mini plans, group outings, picnic packages, fundraisers, and all things Red, White, and Blue, visit the P-Nats online at www.potomacnationals.com, follow the P-Nats on Facebook (@PotomacNationals), Twitter (@PNats42), and Instagram (@pnats42), or call the Potomac Nationals' Extreme Custom Collision Ticket Office at 703-590-2311.
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