Top 10 upcoming promotions
Buffalo Bisons (International League)
Ballpark Brawl VIII
Thursday, Aug. 23 vs. Pawtucket Red Sox
The eighth edition of the Bisons' annual "Ballpark Brawl" wrestling extravaganza promises to be a good one. Several pre-show matches will take place during that afternoon's game, and upon the conclusion of the contest a wrestling ring will be set up right behind home plate (special ringside seats are available for purchase). The main event on the eight-match card is "The Battle of Samoa," a natural heavyweight title face off between Samoa Joe and Rikishi (formerly of the WWE). Additionally, wrestling legends such as The Fabulous Moolah, Mae Young, Brutus "The Beefcake" Barber and "The Doctor of Style" Slick will make appearances. Noted ballpark brawler Jose Offerman has not been asked to participate, unfortunately, but that's a small oversight in an otherwise stellar promotion.
Jacksonville Suns (Southern League)
Jaguars Night
Friday, Aug. 24 vs. Mississippi Braves
The Suns dominate the Jacksonville sports landscape during the summer, but once autumn rolls around the town's attention turns towards the NFL's Jacksonville Jaguars. On Friday, the Suns will help their fans get in the mood for the upcoming football season by staging "Jaguars Night." The club will compete in Jaguars-themed black, teal and gold jerseys, which will be auctioned off for charity after the game. As an added bonus, the Roar of the Jaguars cheerleading squad will entertain the Baseball Grounds faithful with their impeccable dance routines.
Las Vegas 51s (Pacific Coast League)
John Kruk Appearance and Bobblehead Giveaway
Friday, Aug. 24 vs. Tucson Sidewinders
Approximately 20 years and 110 pounds ago, John Kruk played Triple-A baseball as a member of the Las Vegas Stars. To say he excelled for the club would be an understatement, as the sweet-swinging West Virginian hit .326 in 1984, a league-best .351 in 1985 and .464 over 28 at-bats in 1986 before finally receiving a call-up to the San Diego Padres. Later, Kruk went on to become a slovenly Philadelphia sports icon, and he currently serves as a baseball analyst for ESPN. On Friday, he will visit Cashman Field, where the 51s will honor Kruk's Las Vegas roots by distributing 2,500 bobbleheads bearing his portly, mullet-ed likeness.
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Bob L. Head Appearance
Friday, Aug. 24 vs. Cedar Rapids Kernels
The Portland Beavers garnered national attention this season with their "Bob L. Head Bobblehead Giveaway", in which the club distributed dolls bearing the likeness of Mr. Bob Leroy Head of Maquoteka, Iowa. That celebrated promotion took place just last week, and now Mr. Head is returning to his home state as a bona fide celebrity. On Friday, this fortuitously named individual will be the guest of honor at the Swing's O'Donnell Stadium. In addition to throwing out the first pitch, Head will spend the game raising money for the Hospice of Jackson County, his charitable organization of choice. Fans who contribute $10 or more will receive a Bob L. Head bobblehead in return.
Lake County Captains (South Atlantic League)
iPod Case Giveaway
Saturday, Aug. 25 vs. Delmarva Shorebirds
In recent months, Minor League clubs have given away team-logo life rafts, pillowcases, toothbrushes and soap dispensers (among many, many other promotional items). But, at least to my knowledge, no team has yet distributed a team-logo iPod case. This glaring oversight will officially come to an end on Saturday, however, as the Captains will be giving away 2,000 such items. Thank goodness that yet another void in the Minor League promotional landscape has been filled, and congratulations to the Captains for being the ones to do it.
Lancaster JetHawks (California League)
Aerospace Appreciation Night w/ Buzz Aldrin
Saturday, Aug. 25 vs. Stockton Ports
Lancaster, Calif., was incorporated in 1977, and since that time has seen its population quadruple en route to becoming the biggest city named Lancaster in the entire United States (take that, Pennsylvania Dutch Country!). The primary reason that Lancaster has thrived is because of the aerospace industry. Not only is Edwards Air Force Base located in Lancaster, but Boeing, Lockheed and Northrop all have plants there. Each season, the aptly named JetHawks hold "Aerospace Appreciation Night," and this year's version is especially remarkable. The club will welcome famed astronaut Buzz Aldrin to the ballpark, and 1,000 bobblehead dolls bearing his likeness will be given away.
New Hampshire Fisher Cats (Eastern League)
New Hampshire Primaries
Saturday, Aug. 25 vs. Portland Sea Dogs
In November 2003, it was announced that New Hampshire's Double-A franchise would be named "The Primaries" in honor of the state's out-of-proportion influence in determining the fate of U.S. presidential candidates. This moniker was not received well by the fans, who wanted the team to be named after a predatory, weasel-like mammal instead. Therefore, the "Primaries" quickly became the "Fisher Cats," and the rest is history. On Saturday, however, fans can get a glimpse of what could have been. On this memorable night, the team will wear special jerseys and play as "The Primaries." Meanwhile, jealous fisher cats will lurk outside of the stadium, fervently hoping that this one-time promotion does not become a recurring event. They are paranoid creatures, these fisher cats.
Orem Owlz (Pioneer League)
Look-A-Like Night
Saturday, Aug. 25 vs. Casper Rockies
Last week, the JetHawks hosted "Kenny Rogers Look-A-Like Night," which featured fans who resemble the famed country singer. This week, the Owlz are doing the JetHawks one better by hosting "Look-A-Like Night," in which fans who resemble any celebrity at all are invited to the ballpark to take part in between-inning games and contests. From the Owlz' press release: "Has anyone ever told you that you look like someone famous? Tom Selleck, maybe, or Courteney Cox? Come see what our fans think and win great prizes -- and if you don't naturally look like someone, then dress up!" If one can put aside the horrible thought of someone who simultaneously looks like Tom Selleck and Courteney Cox, then this promo is sure to be an all-inclusive good time.
Mahoning Valley Scrappers (New York-Penn League)
Salute to the Simpsons/Funeral Giveaway
Sunday, Aug. 26 vs. Jamestown Jammers
On Sunday, the Scrappers will do what many other Minor League teams have done this season and pay tribute to "The Simpsons" (which is merely the greatest achievement in the history of mankind). Chris Yambar, a Simpsons comic book writer, will be on hand to sign autographs and take pictures, and the sights and sounds of the show will permeate Eastwood Field all evening long. Also permeating the ballpark on this special evening: the specter of death! In an unrelated promotion, the Scrappers will award one lucky fan a pre-paid funeral, courtesy of a local funeral parlor. Winning a pre-paid funeral at a Minor League baseball game? That sounds like an episode of The Simpsons. And thus, we have come full circle.
Rochester Red Wings (International League)
Dennis Eckersley Appearance
Sunday, Aug. 26 vs. Pawtucket Red Sox
The Rochester Red Wings are an affiliate of the Minnesota Twins. Dennis Eckersley, the guest of honor at Sunday's Red Wings game, did not play for the Twins at any point in his 24-year career. But Eckersley did play eight seasons as a member of the Boston Red Sox, and -- lo and behold -- the Red Wings are playing the Pawtucket Red Sox on Sunday. That connection is apparently all that is needed to justify Eckersley's promotional appearance in Rochester, as the Hall of Fame hurler will delight the Frontier Field faithful by signing autographs with the same passion and verve he once brought to the pitcher's mound.
Bonus Coverage!
There are so many promotions taking place this time of year that some gems will inevitably slip through the cracks. Here's brief rundown of some promos that didn't quite make it into last week's column but could or should have. This week, we start with three from Fresno:
Johnny Drama vs. Dwight Schrute Night (Fresno, Aug. 15) -- The Grizzlies staff attempted to find out who the fans like the most: Johnny Drama from "Entourage" or Dwight Schrute from "The Office." This was an incredibly important endeavor.
Save Arvin Night (Fresno, Aug. 16) -- In which the Grizzlies highlighted the positive aspects of Arvin, Calif. The small metropolis was recently named the smoggiest city in all of America.
Friday Night Overload (Fresno, Aug. 17) -- The Grizzlies gave away rally towels, schedule magnets and 3D collectors cups in addition to staging a post-game fireworks show. Beyond that, fans had the option of paying $20 for a ticket and unlimited hot dogs, sodas, popcorn, peanuts and nachos. Oh, and milkshakes were given away as fans left the ballpark.
Original Ending to Bud Bowl I (Lowell, Aug. 17) -- In one of the greatest coups in the history of sports, the Spinners gained access to the original, never-before-seen ending to Bud Bowl I (which originally aired during Super Bowl XXIII in 1989). The coveted footage was displayed on the video board at the conclusion of that evening's game, and minds were summarily blown.
Ladies Night (Ottawa, Aug. 17) -- The first 500 ladies to enter the stadium were handed flowers by a Lynx player, and one lucky gal won a date with Skratch the mascot as well as a shopping trip to Montreal.
Toy Hall of Fame Night (Columbus Catfish, Aug. 18) -- In which the Catfish honored the Slinky, silly putty, Frisbees and other play things that have been inducted into the National Toy Hall of Fame.
Mascot Soap Dispenser (Lake County Captains, Aug. 18) -- There ain't no soap dispenser like a mascot soap dispenser, cuz a mascot soap dispenser don't stop!
Simon Says World Record Attempt (Ottawa Lynx, Aug. 19) -- In which the Lynx attempted to stage the world's biggest game of Simon Says. They fell a tad short of the record of 1,169, however.
Benjamin Hill is a contributor to MLB.com.