Top 10 upcoming promotions
Altoona Curve (Eastern League)
You Got Caught Night, June 18
Adam Hyzdu Night, June 19
The Curve, who can't seem to avoid appearing in this column each week, are staging a pair of vastly different promotions on back-to-back days. On Wednesday, it's "You Got Caught Night," during which the club will pay "tribute" to notorious cheaters such as Bill Belichick, Richard Nixon and the 1919 Chicago Black Sox. On Thursday, the focus will shift to Curve legend Adam Hyzdu, who hit 55 homers and drove in 184 runs over two seasons in Altoona. The slugging outfielder will be in attendance, and the first 2,000 fans through the gates will receive a bobblehead doll bearing his likeness. This promotion is an obvious "Hyz-do." Those who call it a "Hyz-don't" need to stop being so negative all the time.
Binghamton Mets (Eastern League)
Space Night, June 18
Beach Blast Party, June 19
On Wednesday, the B-Mets will celebrate the infinite wonders of the solar system when they stage "Space Night." Representatives from the local Kopernik Observatory will facilitate the contemplation of our own insignificance by providing high-powered telescopes for fans to gaze into, and space-themed movie clips, music and between-inning games and contests will be featured throughout the evening. The team falls back to earth the next night with a Beach Blast Party, featuring complementary leis, two-for-one drinks and the opportunity to relax amidst inflatable palm trees at the left-field Tiki Bar. Perhaps most intriguingly, video segments will feature B-Mets players revealing the one thing they would need if they were stranded on a desert island. A high-powered telescope, perhaps?
Hudson Valley Renegades (New York-Penn League)
Housewives of the Real O.C., June 19
Base Wars: The Remastered Renegades Cut, June 21
Baby Olympics, June 24
This is a joyous time of year for baseball fans, as four short-season leagues (Appalachian, New York-Penn, Northwest and Pioneer) begin play this week. Many short-season clubs will be featured regularly in this column, and the Hudson Valley Renegades will be chief among them. The club is hitting the ground running during its first homestand, which includes highlights such as "Housewives of the Real O.C.," featuring ticket discounts for residents of Orange County, N.Y. Two days later, the club will unveil the "remastered cut" of its "Star Wars" parody "Base Wars," a comedic spectacle that will most likely be surpassed by the heated competition of Tuesday's "Baby Olympics." Word to the wise: nothing is more fun to wager money on than the "Baby Olympics."
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Old-School Hip-Hop Night, June 19
First Aid Kit Giveaway, June 21
The Storm will pay tribute to a glorious era in American musical history when they stage "Old School Hip Hop Night" as part of their recurring "Thirsty Thursday" promotion. But if the relentless lyrical beatdown that will take place that evening isn't alleviated by the cheap drink prices, then make sure to return to the Diamond two days later. Then, the Storm will be distributing first aid kits. This innovative, yet practical, giveaway will help treat any kind of wound -- even if said wound was a result of nine innings of exposure to the devastating wordplay of Slick Rick, Rakim and Big Daddy Kane.
Lakewood BlueClaws (South Atlantic League)
Mick Foley Appearance, June 21
The opportunity to get your hair cut by a retired professional wrestler doesn't come along very often these days, especially since it turns out that Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake isn't an actual barber. But fans who come to Lakewood's FirstEnergy Park on Saturday will be able to get their locks shorn by Mick Foley (aka "Mankind," among many other wrestling pseudonyms). Foley will serve as a volunteer barber as part of a benefit for Pantene's Beautiful Lengths program, which donates wigs to women who are battling cancer. Foley will also throw out a ceremonial first pitch and sign autographs on the concourse during the game. And who knows? Maybe he'll get caught up in the altruistic spirit and cut off his own hair as well.
Louisville Bats (International League)
Indiana Pacemates Performance, June 21
It's a good thing there aren't more promotions like the Bats' upcoming Pacemates performance, because otherwise I'd spend way too much of my time "researching" them. For those who have not done the copious amount of "researching" that I have, the Pacemates are the dance team of the NBA's Indiana Pacers. On Saturday, these 16 beautiful and highly skilled entertainers will bring Bats fans to a standstill with their well-choreographed routines as well as their phenomenal wardrobe choices. It will most certainly be a night to remember for the rest of your life.
Kane County Cougars (Midwest League)
Jimmy Buffett Day, June 22
I generally try to keep my personal opinions out of this column, but I'll go ahead and say it: I do not like the music of Jimmy Buffett. Therefore, I have given short shrift to the numerous Buffett-themed promos that have been staged over the past few seasons. But a reader tipped me off to Kane County's upcoming "Jimmy Buffet Day" promotion, and I have to admit that it's a good one. Elfstrom Stadium will be decorated throughout with a Caribbean theme, and the players will take the field wearing rather hilarious-looking tropical jerseys. "Cheeseburgers in Paradise" cost a mere $3, and after the game fans are invited to stick around and enjoy the good-time sounds of the Buffett-influenced Mr. Myers Band.
Lowell Spinners (New York-Penn League)
New England Patriots Day with Stephen Gostkowski Appearance, June 22
There is never a dull moment at the Spinners' LaLacheur Park, as evidenced by the fact that the Spinners are giving away scorebooks on Wednesday, Jacoby Ellsbury bobbleheads on Thursday and beach towels on Friday. But it will be hard to top Sunday's promo, when New England Patriots placekicker Stephen Gostkowski pays a visit for the second straight season. To the delight of the Spinners faithful, Gostkowski will boot autographed footballs into the seats throughout the afternoon. Rumor has it that the Louisiana native is a pretty good hitter as well, so arrive to the ballpark early in the hopes that he'll take a few cuts during batting practice.
Casper Ghosts (Pioneer League)
Community Night, June 24
Sometimes the best promotions are also the simplest. Tuesday is "Community Night" at Casper's Mike Lansing Field, in which the Ghosts will thank the local community for their support by letting all fans into the game free of charge. And that's it. No fuss, no muss, just the opportunity to see a game without opening the ol' wallet. As much as we all enjoy detailed theme nights and high-quality giveaway items, this is a reminder that one of the best ways to get fans in the seats is to let them in for free -- especially because most of them will spend their ticket savings at the concession stand anyway.
Everett AquaSox (Northwest League)
Frank the Hot Dog Bobblehead Giveaway, June 24
With all due respect to Webbly and Pop Fly, my favorite AquaSox mascot is Frank the Hot Dog. There's no false advertising here, as Frank is exactly what his name implies -- a six-foot tall, mustard-smeared anthropomorphic hot dog. On Tuesday, the first 1,000 fans 14 and younger will receive their very own Frank the Hot Dog Bobblehead doll, and it is a beauty. The dolls feature a smiling and supremely confident Frank wearing his bun like some sort of regal tunic. He is completely at peace with the fact that mustard has been smeared on his torso in preparation for eventual consumption by a sports-watching human. Frank lives in the moment, and for the moment everything is fine.
Bonus Coverage -- Remember last week's column? None of these promos were in it. They could have been, though.
Being Green Is Hulky (Charleston RiverDogs, June 13) -- The RiverDogs celebrated the release of the latest Incredible Hulk movie with trivia and giveaways related to the rampaging green giant.
The Amazing Christopher and Dream Engine Heliosphere (Great Lakes Loons, June 13) -- A one-man Village People act and helium balloon acrobats in the same night? It's like I've died and gone to heaven.
Blaze Jersey Cinch Sack Giveaway (Bakersfield Blaze, June 14) -- The words "cinch sack" will always make me think of those old Hefty Garbage Bag commercials.
Willie Stargell Figurine (Columbus Clippers, June 15) -- In which the Clippers honored one of their most distinguished alumni.
String Trimmer and Lawn Mower Giveaway (Erie SeaWolves, June 15) -- Because what else would a dad want on Father's Day?
Father's Day Fishing Pole Giveaway (Fresno Grizzlies, June 15) -- OK, maybe he'd rather go fishing than work on his lawn.
Free Tickets for All Students (Salem Avalanche, June 17 and 18) -- The Avalanche celebrated the end of the school year by admitting all students (pre-K through high school) into the ballgame free of charge.
Benjamin Hill is a contributor to MLB.com.