The affix is in: Jumbo Shrimp salute duct tape

"It was my fault, because it was my idea. I suffered the consequences, so there you go."

We've all expressed such sentiment during our lives. In this particular instance, the person speaking was Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp promotions director David Ratz, and the idea gone wrong was to spend three innings of the April 28 ballgame against Lehigh Valley duct-taped to a pole on the ballpark concourse.

This endeavor was the perhaps inevitable result of Ratz's decision to stage a duct-tape-centric theme night at the Marlins' Triple-A affiliate's home of 121 Financial Ballpark. Why would he do this? In the world of Minor League Baseball promotions, that's not the right line of questioning.

"Something we ask ourselves daily is, 'Why not?'" said Ratz. "What can we do that involves something silly and ridiculous and off-the-wall, but that other people will have some familiarity with?"

In brainstorming the promotion, Ratz and his staff developed between-inning contests such as a duct-tape mummy wrap and duct-tape ribbon dancing. But that wasn't enough. This is Minor League Baseball, and there needed to be a spectacle. A spectacle such as, you know, being duct-taped to a pole.

"My first thought was, 'I have interns, and this would be something fun to do with interns,'" said Ratz. "But the more I thought about it, I thought perhaps I should be the one. That's one of the things I preach to my staff: 'I'll never ask you to do something that I'm not willing to do myself.' I let them vote on it and wouldn't you know it? They picked me."

As the second inning approached, Ratz was duct-taped to the pole while standing on a stool. The seat was then removed, leaving him suspended in air.

"It was more constricting than I thought it would be," he said. "Many would argue that I'm a complete moron, but I'm not a complete moron in that I did stash a knife in the back collar of my shirt should I need to extricate myself quickly, if I feel this going sideways."

Midway through the third, literally feeling the pressure, it became time to extricate. Ratz cut himself three-quarters of the way free, and then enlisted a police officer stationed on the concourse to finish the job.

But as for what happened next, there were different versions of the story. Ratz maintains that, while he did fall down after being cut free, he only stayed there to determine to what extent the tape had removed the paint on the concourse pole. The police officer didn't see it that way, and the next thing Ratz knew, "There were EMTs telling me to sit down on a wheelchair."

Ratz refused the EMTs' suggestion of an ambulance ride to the hospital, but nonetheless his night was over. Jumbo Shrimp GM Harold Craw sent him home -- making sure that he wasn't driving -- and Ratz watched the rest of the game on a laptop from his couch. The next morning he found a gift in his office: the team staff had taken the mass of tape that affixed him to the poll and written get-well messages on it.

"No regrets," said Ratz. "My job is to do weird stuff that gets attention and pushes the envelope, and that's what happened."

So life goes on. Let's hope that the Jumbo Shrimp's "Salute to the Vacuum Hose Haircut" promo, scheduled for May 11, is a little less dramatic.