Rascal's Ramblings: The offseason

From the mind of everyone's favorite mascot

By Rascal Renegade/Hudson Valley Renegades

October 20, 2022

Greetings and Salutations as I graciously present to you an off-season edition of Rascal's Ramblings. A lot has happened in the months since my last ramble and there are a few acorns rattling around in the ol' noggin that I'd like to share with you. Cats are apparently writing children

Greetings and Salutations as I graciously present to you an off-season edition of Rascal's Ramblings.

A lot has happened in the months since my last ramble and there are a few acorns rattling around in the ol' noggin that I'd like to share with you.

Cats are apparently writing children books

I was digging through the trash the other day and discovered a book titled "The Pokey Little Puppy". I casually perused the book while enjoying a rotting apple core and discovered something startling. In the story, the mother character makes "A Big Bowl of Chocolate Custard" as a treat for her 5 little puppies. This is strange to me, since I believe it is common knowledge that chocolate will kill a dog. Listen. I'm no fan of dogs. But that doesn't mean I want to see them die a chocolatey death. I can only assume that cats have somehow acquired a printing press and are distributing literature with the aim of eradicating our canine companions. Don't fall for it! Keep on the lookout for magazines touting the health benefits of tuna. Be wary of any pamphlet that promotes raking tiny boxes of sand as a meditative technique. It's just the Pro-Cat Lobby trying to infiltrate your brain and change your way of life!

Yankees are in the ALCS

Our baseball daddy has advanced to the ALCS! This is obviously not a surprise as any team associated with the Hudson Valley Renegades is bound for greatness (see Somerset Patriots 2022 season). It got me thinking how fun acronyms are. ALCS obviously stands for American League Championship Series. Here are a few other things ALCS could stand for:

Accusing Locusts of Carrying Sand
Altering Leftover Custard Spray
Accessing Literature Confined Slyly
Anticipating Larks and Compensating Speedily
After Lunch Consider Sleeping

The list could go on and on. And it will.

Auctioneer Likes Continuous Syllables
Accentuating Ligatures and Constraining Signatures
Automatically Lose but Constantly Swearing

Football

Will never be as cool as baseball. Sorry Football. Ya Basic.